


Starless Skies

by JRosy23



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Mentions of Suicide, My First Work in This Fandom, One Shot, Or almost suicide, also depression, i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 02:12:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7958326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JRosy23/pseuds/JRosy23
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was one thing to end his own life,but it was different letting someone else end theirs.<br/>It was strange how you could see one’s potential at a wonderful life and yet ignore your own.<br/>It was strange how Akaashi was helping someone,when he never allowed himself the same help.<br/>“Because I know what pain feels like.It may have not been the same that brought you here,but it is pain that has broken and shattered my being into a million pieces.If you’re going to suffer and die...I’d rather you not do it alone...after all I know what that feels like too”,</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starless Skies

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work,so please don't be too harsh.Also in case the tags went ignored,this Will Contain Mentions Of Attempted Suicide And Depression,though they aren't outright stated as so.If that bothers or triggers you then please don't read.Also sorry for any mistakes or awkwardness in the writing style.Anyway,I hope you all like it.

Was he a coward?

Yes,yes he was.

But he had to give props to himself,he hadn’t actually thought he’d last this long.

But he did.

Not that it mattered now,not when he was so close to ending all that progress.

Akaashi walked along the empty path that lead to the bridge,the cold nipping at his cheeks and nose.He buried his chin into his scarf,stuffing his glove-less hands into the pockets of his coat,as he surveyed his surroundings.It was past midnight,so not many people were out.But you could still hear the occasional sounds of crickets chirping and the driving of cars from the highway.

Once Akaashi reached the bridge he took a shallow breath,watching as his breath formed a cloud.He placed his hands on the rail as he walked further upon the bridge,stopping until he felt he was in perfect position.

Looking up at the starless sky,Akaashi only finds the presence of a solitary full moon.He then looks down,at the rushing river below him,at the jagged rocks protruding from it.The waters are as dark and murky as the sky.

Akaashi had always thought of doing this,somewhere in the back of his mind,after a day he had felt was fully and perfect he’d find himself lying in his bed feeling miserable.  
Memories of the past didn’t make it better,the scars on his body may have faded but the scars on his soul had always remained.A constant reminder of all the pain and misery.

A constant reminder that would not allow him to be happy.It would not allow him to rest and move on.A voice in his head,one that was so cruel and so brutal was always there to whisper doubts in his ear.

Why are you still alive?

What’s the point?

You have nothing going for you,you know?

You’re miserable,you have been for awhile now,why do you still hope that anything might change?

You’re going to die at some point anyway,why not avoid all the hassles of life and do it?

No one will miss you,even if they do cry,they’ll forget,they’ll move on.It’d be better this way,you know it will.

You’re a failure.

You have no family or real friends.Only yourself.

Are you content to be that way forever?

You’re unhappy living,why not just kill yourself?

Most days Akaashi was successful in ignoring the voice.Other days he cried himself to sleep or in the shower as he realized what the voice said was all true,however in the end he’d pull himself together and continue living despite the voice.

However,Akaashi never knew there’d be a day where he would succumb to the voice,where he completely and utterly accepted to enter the darkness and leave his life behind.

Yet,here he was.Blankly staring down at the rushing waves,they moved quickly,too quickly for anyone to swim in.

Once Akaashi jumped he’d drown,and even if he did somehow survive the crashing waters he’d most likely die by a strong impact against one of the sharp rocks.

Akaashi didn’t know how people felt when they were about to die.He didn’t know how people felt when they were the ones about to decide their death.

As for him...he felt calm.

Strangely so.

Was it because he knew this is what he needed and wanted to do?Or because he had just stopped caring about anything altogether?

He took another breath,watching again as another cloud of breath appeared as he was about to hoist himself to stand on the other side of the bridge,he heard something.

The sound of shallow breaths,and sniffling.

He turned to look at his left,narrowing his eyes he peered into the darkness.He wondered if he was hearing and seeing things.

Or if the figure standing on the bridge about to jump was real.

Letting go of the railing,and momentarily forgetting about his own plans he walked as softly as he could towards the figure.The person didn’t notice him,they were just standing,on the edge of falling into the water.They watched the river below them,they seemed to be contemplating but Akaashi could see their grip on the railing begin to loosen.

“It’s a nice night out isn’t it?”,Akaashi questioned suddenly.

The figure was shocked but Akaashi saw them hold tighter onto the railing to avoid falling.Then,Akaashi saw a pair of large light brown,no,golden owlish eyes and they looked at him almost with fear.

As Akaashi took a few steps forward the man spoke.

“Don’t get closer!Or I-I’ll jump,I swear I will!”,He threatened.

Akaashi stopped,blinking at him.

The guy has dyed gray hair with black streaks,his hair is down and messy.He looks scared,alone and most of all...he looks defeated.

Broken.

Akaashi knows that look all too well he’s seen it in his own eyes countless times before.

Instead of approaching,Akaashi only outstretched his arm and hand towards him.The guy blinked,confused,before Akaashi spoke.

“Then,may I ask that If you jump that I jump with you?”,Akaashi questioned and the guy was about to answer before Akaashi continued.

“Or...if you’d like...you may come with me and become my roommate”,Akaashi said his green eyes locked onto golden ones.

“W-Why would you do that?Why would you ever end your life because of me?”,The man choked out weakly.

Akaashi swallowed,unsure himself why he had even said what he said...but something had made him say it.

It was one thing to end his own life,but it was different letting someone else end theirs.

It was strange how you could see one’s potential at a wonderful life and yet ignore your own.

It was strange how Akaashi was helping someone,when he never allowed himself the same help.

“Because I know what pain feels like.It may have not been the same that brought you here,but it is pain that has broken and shattered my being into a million pieces.If you’re going to suffer and die...I’d rather you not do it alone...after all I know what that feels like too”,Akaashi muttered the last part but he knew the guy heard him.

At some point both had begun to have tears well up in their eyes,but neither made a move to wipe them.

“So...what do you say?We can end this together...or start anew together”,Akaashi finished,putting his life in the hands of this stranger,but Akaashi had meant what he had said.

He’d known loneliness and abandonment.And no one should know what that feels like.

The man looked at Akaashi,at his outstretched hand and at the sincerity in his eyes,then at the empty sky and finally at the dark waters below him.

The man grabbed at Akaashi’s hand.And he was ready to be pulled toward the bridge.

Instead he felt a pair of arms being thrown around him.

The man had stepped over the bridge and had embraced Akaashi into a close hug.

He was crying.

Akaashi could feel the tears as they stained his shoulder.

Akaashi merely returned the hug and patted him on the back,as comfortingly as he could.Only whispered words of comfort came from his mouth.Words,he’d never heard himself,but words he knew needed to be said.

Tears fell down from his own eyes.

From relief?Sadness?Both?

He’d never know.

All he remembered was that he had taken off his scarf and given it to the stranger who was only wearing a light jacket with a t-shirt,some jeans and boots.

Neither said anything as Akaashi led the way to his apartment.Only thinking of how he would give the spare room he had to this stranger,whether he had enough blankets and how he should probably make dinner once they got there.

Suddenly,there was a tug at his sleeve and Akaashi turned to see the man sniffling and looking down almost sheepishly.

“Um..what’s your name?”,he had asked and Akaashi remembered that neither had actually introduced themselves.

“Akaashi Keiji”,Akaashi replied.

“Bokuto Koutaro and um...thanks for..you know”,Bokuto thanked rubbing the back of his neck.

“No need Bokuto-san.Now,come in,it’s cold outside”,Akaashi led Bokuto into the building,where he saw him become visibly warmer.They walked up to Akaashi’s apartment and he led Bokuto inside.

“Akaashi...is it really okay if I stay here?”,Bokuto questioned looking around at the inside of the apartment,uncertainly.

“Of course,so long as you can pay half the rent...but,I’ll let you off this month if you’d like”,Akaashi said taking off his coat.

“No.You’ve already helped me a lot.I’ll look for a job soon…”,Bokuto trailed and Akaashi turned to ask him a question before he was engulfed in another hug.

The first time,Bokuto had hugged him Akaashi had been focused on comforting him.Now,he realized the hug had comforted Akaashi as well.

When was the last time someone had show such open and willing affection towards him?

He couldn’t remember.

He did know that he wasn’t exactly a completely touchy feely person.But hugging Bokuto made him relax.He was warm despite the cold.And Akaashi was glad he had saved that warmth from dying out.

“Let me show you to your room,Bokuto-san”,Akaashi said then guided Bokuto to his room.

Afterwards,Akaashi sent Bokuto to take a shower and then lent him some clothes he felt would best fit him considering the two had different builds and height.Meanwhile Akaashi made dinner and set it up.

Once Bokuto had finished and joined him he thanked him.Akaashi had told him he didn’t need to keep on thanking him.Bokuto instead only smiled.And Akaashi wondered how such a bright and shining smile found itself at the mercy of dark waters and taunting voices.

The two ate as Bokuto made conversation.He talked to Akaashi as if they had been friends for years instead of meeting only an hour or two ago.

Akaashi didn’t mind,he found himself feeling comfortable with Bokuto,conversation came easier with him than it usually did with other strangers.

Maybe it was because of a shared pain.One that neither brought up at that point.Both just happy with the others presence.The others understanding.One that didn’t need words said aloud.

They bantered easily and Akaashi found himself knowing he made the right decision.

Although he later found that Bokuto was extremely loud and excitable.And he tended to have mood swings that hit here and there,but through it all Akaashi was there for him.

And Akaashi had Bokuto there with him whenever the voices began their usual whispers of doubt.He would distract him with outlandish stories and jokes.He brought a smile onto Akaashi’s face.One that wasn’t forced.

And he brought a constant and steady rhythm to Bokuto,one that he needed when he was lost.He also gave him a home something he had seemed to be missing.

Together they made each other’s lives a little bit easier and little more brighter.It made going through what they had gone through worth it.

As long as it meant that they now had these moments together right now.

That’s how Akaashi likes to look at it.

That their meeting was for the better for both of them,and although starless skies and murky waters will always be evident in life,so will fields of sunflowers and the music of birds.

In other words,their pain isn’t erased from existence but neither is their happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it was so short,again it's my first work.Also my tumblr is @awkwardsociallyme idk i just thought I'd put that there


End file.
